The State of the DAW Address - posted, un-posted, re-posted... a bit long in the tooth, but still representative of essential truth

First published 11th July, 2012 responding to forum posts discussing the top DAW tech of the day.

2021 - time-warped 9 years since writing the following correction to one or two posts I'd seen at that time.  I'm recovering and plan to rediscover my musical proclivities and continue creating my dream studio here, in home.   *********   -  Type a lengthy reply to an old thread, then chuck it... then revive it... and one more time now - 2013 - 2021 still the draft...

Damn - I'm officially "lurking". Well, I think you'll find that as the time goes by, it's going to be more and more difficult to wade through the debris of old posts - eventually we'll probably need a tech solution (perhaps HTML V's got something... dunno) to maintain relevant (this post is relevant and still current, even two years later) versus mostly ancient (reviews of hardware & s/w from 2001 are hardly relevant 11+ years later, after all.. yep, it's been awhile that we've been surfing now)... search engines will certainly continue evolving their ability to de-prioritize aged content yet recognize when it's useful or.. once more... relevant. Heck - I think I might need an upgrade m'self. oh well.. lurking or not, I've taken the time so I'm going to go ahead and share....

Dan Chapman: I remember using "Cakewalk for DOS" a very long time ago - 1991, in fact - using a Tascam 1/2" 8-track with my Korg M3R (M1 racked), Dx7, etc.. killer times. "Striping" the tape with a midi timecode track - I remember how cool it was the first time I went to record in sync with the synths - starting the sequencers when I hit Record (& Play iirc) and hearing the count-in before laying in to my (mic'd) guitar; pretty primitive to be sure - it was just cool how that "stripe" track told Cakewalk where to jump-to, and then kept it in lock-step with that MTC. If I'd only stayed with it... maybe tried midi-consulting, getting in to the studios early-on... (got married, went corporate (s/w), & shelved music for a decade or more... c'est la vie, eh? Cling to security and flee your dreams... let that be a lesson, kids.

One of the posts which prompted me to begin this response mentioned Cubase as follows: "I used Cubase and couldn't get anywhere with it"...   I wouldn't so readily admit that if I were you.  Cubase is patently easy to use, with tutorials and free video instruction available from Steinberg. Of course, if it was not a licensed copy or an active free trial, then that would explain such a statement. If you want to crack/steal, i.e. not-pay-for - an insanely killer DAW program like Cubase (or yeah, Pro Tools), then stick with the free/nag DAW ware.

Cubase, despite being strategically ignored by huge numbers of shill* bloggers (not Nathan, definitely) is arguably the most complete and powerful (features and function) DAW around, and is used by professionals all over the planet and within the environs of many highly prestigious commercial studios.  It's a digital audio powerhouse, despite PT being "Industry Standard" in the U.S., most notably in La-La Land as well as Nashville. 

Steinberg is arguably the most innovative and influential contributor to DAW technologies and standards, that's Industry standards.  They literally invented VST, significantly altering the DAW landscape and benefiting the entire community, irrespective of the particular vendor offerings and tools chosen.  Steinberg robustly support Cubase, their flagship product, with regular worthwhile updates and improvements , along with droves of highly usable (and often free) add-ons & plugins. Of course they are on the forefront of R&D as well, and maintain a wide array of products and tech across the entire range of DAW user-level, base tech and budget.  They were the quickest to fully embrace and support 64-bit (digital audio is among the most appropriate applications of 64-bit processing - at least for non-corporate s/w), for both Windows _and_ OS/X.   Cubase  6.5 has amazingly enhanced usability and state-of-the-art features & functionality - you're able to manipulate audio as easily as midi (real-time, super accurate and detailed audio editing - including individual note pitch and (event) length - we're talking audio, not just midi. It's incredibly easy to fix that one timing and/or pitch boner in an otherwise flawless performance (not talking about "autotune"-type features, which it also has for more general or sweeping usage). Of course a skilled editor could take a mediocre performance and turn it into a masterpiece as well, but clearly there's nothing like a true live-take performance for most of us.

I'm not saying that Cubase is the only smart choice - in fact, the competitive climate and the wide selection of available DAW platforms is of huge benefit to us consumers - keeping developers on their toes, working hard to keep or gain user market-share. It's natural to be somewhat bigoted when it comes to the DAW we eventually settle-in and get comfortable with, but statements like "nothing comes close to [my choice]" usually serve to betray an individual's ignorance - it's unlikely they've really taken the time to do an objective feature comparison, and their unique usage and needs may be quite different than the next person's.

Still - I have to admit that I've grown weary of the Pro Tools marketing/hype machine, and especially the shill-network, which consists of a large number of "musician/journalists" - PT (Digidesign for some time) were brilliant at penetrating the pro-studio market before the Music Business was totally wiped-out and re-written by the internet, and now the supposed "new economy" (Pro Tools was, and often still is, a lavish and enormous expense - proprietary, hardware-specific software - that really worked, and was easy enough for exhausted engineers to work with after a long night of recording. PT sales/reps were genius (devs too, yeah) - and, recently have wisely been relaxing that tight-coupling to proprietary hardware, although none-too-soon). The point is, Pro Tools is not the "only-game-in-town" that it is continuously billed as. Cubase has a large pro-community as well, both in the U.S. and especially in Europe and the southern hemisphere. There's definitely no "resting on their laurels" going on.

Use whatever works for you and floats your boat - and make music.


* SHILL: . "...someone who purposely gives onlookers the impression that he is an enthusiastic independent customer of a seller (or marketer of ideas) for whom he is secretly working..."

Best DAW review top five pick anyway:

"Cubase is a DAW with a storied history, created by German manufacturer Steinberg and released for the first time in 1989 on the Atari ST. Since then, Steinberg created not only successive versions of Cubase, but also created the VST plugin protocol, which is now widely used by software manufacturers to run programs, such as virtual instruments, within DAWs. Cubase is widely known as the DAW of choice among orchestral composers and orchestrators who create film music in so-called "synthestration," a virtual orchestra painstakingly recreated "in the box." Automation is spot-on, if the native effects are perhaps not as impressive as some other competitors in the field. The latest version includes the longstanding HALion sampler, the Time Warp Tool, as well as a real-time stretching and pitch-shifting function called Audio Warp" ed note: this was originally written nearly 9 years ago.  Needless to say, there have been plenty of changes these past 9 years, but - even without getting down to refreshing my DAW nous to 2021, I have little doubt that Steinberg are still delivering a top-tier, professional studio environment. When last I had looked, the now ancient ver 6+ had expanded Audio Warp to make it a seriously useful and powerful tool.. called vari-audio or ... vari... var.. something... ed. apology

Aishiteru - IxSHE Tell - reflection upon a single VN, and then upon them all

The following diatribe began as a response to a review of a Visual Novel on reddit - actually to part-1 of a 2-part review. That review was extremely interesting, and most certainly not your typical review:

Raven Reviews: IxSHE Tell Part 1, The Mechanics of a Book

This mostly stream-of-consciousness entry began as a positive response to Raven's review.

IxSHE Tell Part 1, The Mechanics of a Book

Post: aprilia1k 2020-09-15 19:00

Fantastic critical analysis. Kudos.

Bottom-line: I was constantly nodding in agreement - almost point-for-point, I believe. 

Your comparative of the more "traditional" approach to multi-route/"harem" VNs, and the various ways in which those frameworks can "black-box" (borrowing from s/w dev terminology) elements of a VN - be they dialog, CG, exposition, _choice_, etc..; serve to confine or block P-kun's progression with little or no advance info, reducing contemplation to guesswork - let's just say that it was an effective way to illustrate how such approaches can subtract from the overall experience in myriad ways. You said it way better than I can, and I'm glad you didn't mince too many words to do it. An excellent deconstruction.

I may put up a separate group of my own reviews sometime soon, and when I do, I'll include this title early on.  My appreciation of Raven's write-up, above, was in regard to the detailed study he made of the VN's structure, i.e. mechanics and how they relate to the potential for enjoyment, the process of discovery and etc.. He "hit the nail on the head" as they say.  In the wider sense - well, hell - I did say I am going to write a proper review sometime soon, so for now I'll just say that I quite enjoyed "IxSHE Tell", Aishiteru - the characters, the story, the presentation - all of it.  I didn't even have to employ very much of my "forgiving" nature with this one - the whole is definitely greater than the sum of it's parts - and I'm hovering between 8 and 9 at this point, and I don't believe that is excessively generous in the slightest. 😎

tl;dr -- I'm more forgiving than most when it comes to rating VNs - I can readily overlook many reviewers' criticisms, especially if they are in regard to "overused" tropes, archetypes and the like. If you read enough material, from a variety of authors and formats, the time will come when you will cease complaining about "overused" anything - IMHO. In the past eight or nine hundred years, nearly all has been "done" before. In the hands of a talented and properly motivated writer, even the most "cliche", "overdone", "tired" trope can excite, awaken, evoke and even surprise us. That's my opinion at least.

The reviews which begin by quantifying and categorizing - or stereotyping based upon trope or structure - are usually the reviews I find the least helpful, as they often seem to overlook or ignore that which is unique in their doggedly obstinate efforts to identify and pigeon-hole a title based upon common meta-traits.  Such reviews betray - more often than not, it seems - a blatant or thinly-masked air of superiority and condescension toward any deviations from their own subjective (and typically narrow-minded) notions of what constitutes a "good" or worthwhile title or work.  To be fair, or at least to try to be - were  I to submit reviews of a handful of VN titles, I suspect that from one-third to perhaps half of respondents would accuse me of having poor or very lowered standards for any or several titles.  Just the same, and in fairness to myself as well, I expect that at least half would completely agree with the bulk of my reviews, and I'd wager that - using those responses as a filter - I could further predict from among the whole group, those with whom I would most enjoy grabbing a beer and a pizza.  Not all that surprising, I suppose.  ;-) 

When reading a VN, I actively look for the positive.  I don't imagine it or concoct it with superfluous and weak standards or unreasonably forgiving views; if I find something positive, then it's undoubtedly something which a good many other VN aficionados will agree with.  I can say that with confidence based upon hundreds of reviews and forum posts - my views are mostly in accord with plenty of other people's, especially when breaking things down in to various categorizations, genre  and trope classifications and ... oops!..  lol.  Yes, I jest.  And now I'm undeniably just wasting electrons...    

I will repeat - I'm not an especially critical VN participant/reader. I'm somewhat forgiving if I find elements that I enjoy - I can usually focus on the positives and overlook the shortcomings. I find this significantly enhances my enjoyment, and makes my collection of "favorite" titles larger than it otherwise would be, for sure. The hurdle I find most challenging is the none-too-rare "Donkan" protagonist, or the overly weak-willed, indecisive, self-loathing or simply loathsome protagonist. I can overlook plenty if our hero is at least proactive. I much prefer a harem's attraction to P-kun be demonstrably supported and believable, not - as is typical - utterly absurd, immersion-killing and far-fetched. Hell! - these are supposed to be fantasies - why not fantasize oneself as truly likeable; perhaps possessed of some redeeming qualities beyond "nice guy" - rather than simply as the fat slob you are already, in real-life? If girls are going to be chasing him, or liking him - why have that very behavior be the greatest hindrance to believable immersion?

 The Quality, or lack thereof, of the VN Protagonist

 The topic comes up, from time to time, regarding these kinds of protagonist - uber-popular, "perfect" (which is never the case anyway).  Many VN critics are greatly opposed to any protagonist who's "got it going on".  They seem to prefer what they consider to be "more realistic" characters - which sounds reasonable, right?  The problem is, based upon the frequent rants and critical reviews to be found online, the "more realistic" protagonist in a Japanese Visual Novel seems to vary from what is tagged the "donkan protagonist" (aliases for which include "Romantically Insensitive" and "Dense about Love") to the "hetare protagonist" (aliases: "Wussy Protagonist", "Wimpy", "Worthless", "Good-for-nothing", "Useless" and  "Spineless").  Typically, or so it seems, the "hetare" protagonist is "donkan" as well.  The frequent justification for these types, and various combinations therein, is that they are more _realistic_, more representative of the typical teenage boy in Japan - the primary demographic for eroge of the Visual Novel format.
 
 Apparently, for this demographic, enjoyment hinges upon their ability to immerse within the story in the protagonist's role, but _as themselves_ - as they exist in real life (IRL).  For them, the "stretch" - to what's believable, what's immersive - is a "better me".  They've little problem believing the perfect heroine will somehow be interested in "the real me": plain, uninteresting, weak and pathetic but eventually attractive - because "I'm nice to everyone".  That adorable and talented girl may well "like" you, but - brother - she will never "like like" you... not as long as you readily accept yourself "just as you are", without striving to be more.. to be better.   The break in immersion is the notion that an unmotivated zero can be attractive just for being nice to people.  Better yourself, damn it. Start with your self-image - as in the archetype protagonist you visualize as your near-future-self.  Now I'm trying to turn this in to a pep-talk, so that I might single-handedly influence the creators to start writing more appealing protagonists. LOL.  

 But seriously - how is this "loser nice-guy" less of a stretch than believing they can be stronger, more decisive and proactive, and healthier.  Their completely abysmal self-image is a singular driving force for what is perhaps the most prominent design aspect and story element of these VNs.   As opposed to visualizing a "better self" in this role, an idealized fictional self to go with the fictional story world - they would much rather fantasize that cute, popular girls secretly long for plain, "nice guy" losers.  Man - I do not get it.  Why are these guys so unable or unwilling to imagine a "better" version of themselves in that role - such that if the protagonist is attractive or intelligent, or competent in any way - it is just impossible for them to "step-in" and immerse in order to enjoy the title. 

In fairness, there are some portion of VNs in which the protagonist _can grow_, i.e. advance within the confines of the story, gradually acquiring some of the traits to which they aspire - which is, I think, at least a step in the right direction - and one which might actually benefit some of these guys emotionally, psychologically; if they can begin to visualize their "better self" and discipline themselves to expend their efforts in a "self-improvement paradigm"... like most well-adjusted, reasonably healthy people tend to do over the course of their lives.  Damn, do I digress.  All of this is to say that there are a great many Visual Novels which have a wealth of excellent traits and attributes - the makings of "that special VN":

• stunning artwork, with beautifully rendered heroines
• lush and varied backgrounds and settings
• acceptable, sometimes excellent writing, with interesting and unique characterizations and backstories
• compelling plots, with effective "hooks", twists and turns which entice and pull the reader in to the story world
• a worthless, unattractive protagonist - devoid of talent or strength, who is "super nice", in contrast to all the other guys who are totally attractive but are not really nice
• wonderfully in-depth world, completely lacking of any "nice guys" - excepting P-kun
• tons of flying pigs
• a huge, wonderfully-lit ice-skating rink located in the central plaza of Hell
• stunning, magical sunrise in the west
  

The problem with immersing in, or believing the VN with a popular, even reasonably worthwhile protagonist - I believe I would enjoy such as these even were I not myself...  heh..

OK - I'll be honest, and I will suspend my modesty and humility: I had a lot of girlfriends when I was young. In fact, I had a lot of girls "chasing" me, from as far back as I can remember. Incidentally, I was not a bully, by any means - but I was popular, with the boys and girls both - one of the "alphas" you could say, but I really was one of the "nice guys" - I did not harass or victimize the quiet kids, etc.. in fact, I can recall at least a couple of occasions where I became involved in a fight or altercation because I was defending some kid from another - sometimes the offender was one of my "friends", which led to quite unpleasant subsequent circumstances, more than once. Damn - I am not doing a proper job of controlling my direction or degree of elaboration ... my point, above, was merely to mention that I actually did have girls pursuing me when I was in school. I mention this because - the plot of the media title being reviewed, "IxSHE Tell", centers around a H.S. guy who has five girls, the most popular girls in the school, all pursuing him for a romantic relationship.  It was mostly consistent for my first 25 or 30 years... maybe 40... sounds like I am kidding, right? heh... I have never taken this for granted - and I have very much been thankful for any good fortune to befall me. This is not to say that life was perfect by any stretch. I definitely experienced my share of heartache - and I also became very well acquainted, at times, with the feeling of self-consciousness, of complete lack of self-confidence and other aspects of "teen angst" known to most of us.

In truth - my awareness of how popular and or attractive I was with girls was oftentimes very latent; only surfacing long after the fact. There were plenty of times when I felt too shy or verbally constipated to even approach the girl - even when I knew that she was interested and sought my attention. I imagine this is very common, and I'm certain most people would agree. "Tongue-tied" is a condition with which most of us have been afflicted at one time or another in our lives.

Now as far as "far back as I can remember" - this will sound like fiction, but I swear on my life that it is true - one of my earliest memories, one which stuck with me for obvious reasons. We are talking about kindergarten. I was five years old. It was Halloween - or the day before. All of the kids had on their costumes. We were instructed that the entire class was going to march around the school courtyard. I assume this was because all of the parents were there, though that I don't recall with certainty. OK - SO, we were to march - following the teacher - and then return. Simple enough. The teacher instructed the _girls_ to choose a partner. Now this is no lie.

I was literally bowled over by nearly all the girls in the class. No, I was not the only boy. The class was of typical 50/50 proportions of boys to girls. I had NO say in my partner. The most aggressive of the girls grabbed my arm more forcibly than the rest and VOILA... I had a partner. There was a minute or two of commotion as the teacher brought the class under control, and chastised the mob that had accosted me. I am certain that the girl upon whom I had my eye was _not_ the girl who "chose" me. That other girl was not quite as aggressive and forceful, and some other "luckier" boy (yes, I felt this) got to hold her hand and walk the school grounds for the "Halloween Parade".

Artistic Endeavor Or Disposable Commodity

I Tivo'd a show the other day called "Forbidden Science".  A sci-fi show, apparently a series, on.., hmmm.., some channel.  I hit the record button based upon the short description in the "guide" (and I like sci-fi, generally).  The description said:

"Julia discovers a way to erase all her programmed memories; Bethany has nightmares  about her cheating ex;  Bethany searches for a missing Colin.  Adult, AC, AL, N, Series."

In all honesty, I didn't even notice the "Adult" or the "N".  If I had, I may not have scheduled it to record (I prefer my porn to be "just porn", no names, no imbecilic storyline or lame acting).  Of course, within a minute or three it was obvious what the primary "genre" was, and the guide had lied about it; it actually said "Science Fiction".  Still - it was apparent that the creator was actually trying to marry a serious sci-fi/drama ( adj \ˈsī-ˈfī-'slash-ˈdrä-mə\) with a bit of soft porn, and in a series no less.  Perhaps he's trying to create something like "The L-Word", or the like.  There's potential here.  Unfortunately, as I watched for a few minutes I started to realize the challenges he would've encountered, from casting to story, to .. budget (for effects, writers, sets, etc..).   Firstly, finding attractive young people who can act is clearly not easy; factor in that they have to get naked and they have to have sex in front of cameras and crew (it is "soft" porn, so the sex stops being real after the heavy petting, which means they have to portray (act) having intercourse, climaxes and so forth - all convincingly - and they have to look really good doing it.  As a viewer of a plethora of film and television, of all sorts, even just in the last few years, I can say with confidence that it's difficult to find actors who meet even two of those criteria.  Yes - there are quite a few very talented young actors these days, and probably many more in the wings and shadows.  A number of them are fairly attractive, I'm sure.  But - how many of those will do a nude scene?  Then --- how many of those will do quite explicit sex scenes?  I'm not talking the typical Hollywood "nip slip", or darkened room, bodies pressed tightly, brief glimpse from the side shot - no.  More like actual "porn", but where the penetration is just faked (and it's pretty much always very, very obvious that it's faked, by the way.  Anyone in Hollywood or just-outside Hollywood who does these types of scenes out there?  We can tell it's faked.  It's laughable, and it detracts from the scene.  Better to imply it and leave it out.  The thrusting, "air f***ing" just doesn't cut it.  Oh well.  That's a digression.  My point here is that, if we were to agree that such a marriage of serious drama, action, sci-fi or whatever, with explicit (yet tasteful, perhaps?) sexual situations was a good concept, or maybe a great concept.  The task of getting the resources, especially the on-screen talent, is a near impossible one.  Pretty much every filmmaker or producer who tries to make such a work ends up compromising, usually quite seriously, when it comes to the actors.  Either the looks (she's kind of pretty), the acting craft (she remembers most of her lines anyway), the degree of comfort sans clothing on camera - will be a compromise.  The result is, eventually, total failure.  It would be so cool if someone could get this right one day.  I mean, really REALLY get it right.  Like if some of our most beloved actors (women and men) were to suddenly become totally comfortable with the notion of on-screen sex, and were to embrace it and just go for it.  We'd all watch that.  It'd be huge.   For all of that long diatribe, I failed to convey what I was hoping to.  I really liked the concept of this show - forget the sex for a moment - it is just a cool premise.  With proper handling it could be so good.  Then, add the realism and depth of some explicit content, some real physical interaction between these fantastic actors (I use the non-gendered term that applies to both men and women).  I guess it is not a given that sexual situations have to be shown.  Some of the most effectively titillating sexual content happens in our minds after the camera fades or the lights go out.  Maybe trying to make such programs "T&A" simply dooms them to be, well.. just "T&A".   Such content may preclude any other experience, such as the viewing of quality dramatic film entertainment.  I think I was disappointed.  I wanted to believe a show, a movie or whatever, could be gripping and all that, and at the same time could have me salivating over the beautiful actresses, ... leftoff

What was on my mind...

Time, the double-slit photon experiment, the Higg's boson and the requisite quantum field, and old friends. Here's to that quantum field associated to each point of spacetime and with a non-zero vacuum expectation value.

 

 Joy of joys when it couples with zero-mass fundamental particles so they acquire mass.                                                 

My dinner would have been far less filling without it.

Gene Hackman... a consumnate American actor

Strange topic I guess.  Just surfed in to "The Quick And The Dead" (1995 - teen Leonardo DiCaprio, Gene Hackman, Sharon Stone, etc..).  While he does ham it up when playing the villain (he is a classic "Snydely Whiplash" villain, sans curly moustache), especially as Lex Luthor in the Superman movies, he is a very compelling screen presence.  It's hard not to like the villain in these movies, if you've a sense of humor anyway.  I was thinking how, it seems to me anyway, he is underrated as a protagonist;  his numerous bad-guy portrayals serve to overshadow the roles in which he plays the hero, or at least one of the good guys.   I think he is a stellar actor, and only wish he had played more roles as the protagonist.  It's hard not to rally around Gene Hackman when he's the good guy.  In fact, as alluded previously, it's even hard not to rally around his evil villain, for his brilliant boasting, his witty diatribes that invariably, and surgically, tear-down his nemesis' character, values and ideals.  Good stuff.  Hard to believe he was in "The French Connection" almost forty years ago.   Character's name was "Popeye", if I recall correctly.  I never knew anyone with that name - not ever.

It all A.D.D.s up after all

It's almost trendy nowadays to have A.D.D.

Which is really quite unfortunate for those who actually do suffer from this pretty debillitating condition, as it raises suspicion and more than a few eyebrows in dubious consternation.  The real thing is something that one has suffered with their whole life, and not just losing things like keys or getting distracted by loud noises or whatever.  There's a world of difference between the over-worked, stressed and caffeinated throngs who will swear that they have ADD, and the unfortunates who have actually struggled through a lifetime of pain and anguish - real honest-to-goodness struggling.  If you were not the one kid (or one of just a few) who was always being scolded for interrupting, talking in class, blurting things out, fidgeting, being sent to the principal time and again or whatever - and I mean always.  Not just those couple times.  I mean that every report card from 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, etc.. for each quarter told of your problems with impulsive behavior, talking excessively, not sitting still --- and that no amount of discipline or correction or punishment was effective at stopping these behaviors.  They had no idea that ADD existed  - they thought we were just inconsiderate and undisciplined little monsters that needed a swift kick.   Well - anyway, perhaps I'll stop, perhaps not.


I was just writing an email to a friend, and wanted to mention how much I hoped that her marriage (recent year or two) was going really well, that they were taking care of it (they do need care, and attention, and work, after all).  Anyway - I could not remember her husband's first name, so decided to go find their website and track it down.  Now - all of us, A.D.D. or not, can have problems when it comes to disciplined surfing/computer time, keeping to task and staying aware of time, etc...   I realize that's one of the things that get "regular/normal" folks thinking they may have A.D.D. as a matter of fact.  That and misplacing the keys or wallet from time to time.  These do not, by a long-shot, mean that one has the disorder.  However, for the A.D.D. sufferer, they are often (usually I'll wager) very much extremely affected, exaggerated, whatever.  I was looking for the name, I started reading - pretty soon read a blog or two, with absolutely no thought as to my original intent.  What email?  Seriously.  Two hours later, realizing that the sun was on it's way down and my dog was looking at me anxiously to go outside, I paused and tried to re-trace my steps.  I was reading about the female spotted-hyena (which, despite aspects of it's appearance, is not a canine - in fact it's more closely related to felines, though it is actually it's own distinct species, Hyaenidae.  Anyway - it took me awhile to figure out how I'd gotten here.  There was a trail of sorts, but many pages had been closed (history is there, though confusing).  I'd read about a number of different, interesting things - lots on endurance training, coaching; really nice articles and pieces written by my friend, then I'd moved on to some singer/songwriter that popped in to my head.  Had to listen a bit, and read a biography (always comparing - something we do, sometimes just something I do - trying to figure out where I went wrong, what advantages another may have had (wealthy folks who sent them to Harvard and/or Juliard perhaps, etc..).  This is a confession of a rather pride-less behavior that I'm ashamed of and trying to improve upon.  Anyway - then, I think I heard something from the television (yes, often "on" even if just for background.  I'm normally pretty "green" about energy and recycling, etc.., but sometimes I simply must treat my potential for extreme despair with a good dose of distraction, and I do this often with documentary material - I especially like Science, Physics/Astrophysics/Astronomy, Nature stuff (esp. big cats, but anything really), History and oh man, Archeology and Anthropology.  This stuff just ROCKS, what they are finding these days - discovering, uncovering MORE AND MORE.    Anyway - I heard something like "female spotted hyena with 'male-like genitalia'"  Wow.  So, naturally googled it, and... well --  I can speak at great lengths about the plight of these poor female hyenas, with serious problems just with mechanics of hooking-up with the males, then dangerous birthing issues (for both mother and pup).  (After all that "not a dog" stuff I read, I note that they still call the little ones "pups").  Anyway -  I finally traced my way back to what I was trying to do.  Write a QUICK email so that I could get my dog out for a few minutes before dark.  The meds ain't working yet 'Doc. 

Confusing Desire For Discipline - Life Unlived

I've been saying, literally forever almost, that I need to get in a band.   "Another Band".  The last band I played in was almost 25 years ago; when I say that, I can practically hear the "Twilight Zone" theme start up in my head.  25 years.  Now, I play and - even though I am pretty self-critical, in my head anyway, I play pretty wicked guitar.  Oh - I will see somebody on T.V. that makes me re-think that, but I usually realize that, while so-and-so is probably a far better player than I - it is usually that he/she is far more well-rounded and displays a fearless abandon with a cascade of killer chops.  When I get honest and try to imagine that player playing some of the stuff I hear myself play, well - oftentimes I can't see it.  It's like, yeah, we all have strengths and weaknesses, and while I may have more weaknesses than many of these pros (jazz comping maybe, uh... diverse vocabulary of licks in multiple genres, whatever), the truth is, some of my strengths are, frankly, pretty damn strong.  I have some serious speed with many of my tricks and licks, and scales - and I think my vibrato compares favorably to almost anyone's outside of perhaps Jeff Beck.  I have, it seems like, a unique voice or "phrasing", that I began recognizing a few years back - a certain way I combine licks, runs and bends in runs or  sequences, that sound pretty damn cool and I believe sound unique -  like I don't recall hearing similar phrasing from other players.  I think it just might be that I have one or two "trademark" techniques that, were I in the public eye, would be identifiable, as in "wait a sec, that must be Stephen Francis -- I recognize that style" or whatever.  Point is --- I really gotta get out there and play with some others, maybe get in a band.  Classic or retro rock, blues rock...  I have some Trower-type techniques, as far as interesting bends into and out-of trills and vibrato (wiggle the hell out of the note in a musical fashion) - and, quite frankly, my "speed riffing" is noticeably faster and cleaner than Robin's - which is not unusual these days - the speed-thing is just more emphasized all around compared to Robin's time.   And  I am not saying I am "better" than Robin Trower.  In fact - he is among my top 1 or 2 favorite players, and I will never be as good as he is, as a masterful artist of sounds and textures and all that.  He is God.  I mean, I like Eric C a lot - but I would say he'd be an archangel to Robin's God.  That's just my opinion and personal taste.  Of course, just a listen to the "Beano" album and I find myself worshipping at the altar of Clapton once again ;-)


I'm starting to have waking dreams, so I will cut this off now (too late to cut it short, after all)


More on the "I need to get in a band" topic, as well as why I think I'm someone who other folks really should hook-up with, collaborate with.  ADD and all, I know I have a deep well of creative energy and material blasting in to my head all the time.  With the right people, I think it could get interesting, and in a good way.  ;-)  Ciao.